The idea for this post struck me, I knew I had to write about it, but there is one fundamental discrepancy: I don’t want children of my own. So this post is more of a way for me to figure out my values. If I did raise children though, I would teach them....
- Don’t ever let anyone outwork you.If someone claims they are intelligent, but only gets mediocre grades and blames it “not trying”, take them as the example of exactly what I do not want you to be. Useful intelligent people don’t waste their gifts and educational opportunities. It could be because I am american, but I strongly believe that hard-work is the key to success. At the end of the day its the person who does the work and not the brilliant mind that wins.
- Take full responsibility for your actions.You are bound to mess up and make mistakes, hopefully none of them are life altering, but when you do mess up it is your responsibility to fix it. Do not blame your problems on other people or the circumstances, although they may have played a role, you had the ultimate choice, so own up to your shortcomings. Few things bother me more than people who are unwilling to admit to their mistakes.
- Don’t judge.In your life, you will meet people of all different races, backgrounds, beliefs, and identities. I want you to treat them all the same. Each one is a human being and deserves equal respect from you. I am not saying that you have to like all them or be their best friends, but in the very least you must respect their humanity. If you do this, your hardest challenge will be accepting those who are intolerant. They will go against everything you believe in, and they will infuriate you, but you must remember that they are people too. Show them respect in return for their intolerance.
- Stay firm in your beliefs, but keep an open mind.I encourage you to challenge your beliefs and change your mind, but do this with some skepticism. I want you to be strong in your conviction. Should you change your mind it should only be because someone else has presented you with a much better argument, or facts, not because “everyone else thinks/does this/that”. That being said, you should also be informed before you even choose and opinion. If you cannot defend your position there was no use taking it in the first place.
- Always ask questions.Don’t ever blindly accept. You need to approach life with a little bit of skepticism even from the start. It’s hard to keep in mind that much of our life is social constructs that others blindly follow like sheep, and I never want you to be one of these sheep. This mindset may cause you some problems because you are somewhat slow to trust and sometimes avoid high-risk things, but it will help you in the long run. You won’t understand till later, but people are complex and until you have peeled back several layers of personality you don’t know who they really are.
- Follow your heart, not tradition.There are traditions and expectations that society will but on you. There is an ideal of beauty for males and females, you are still expected to be heterosexual, and you will be told certain careers are acceptable. None of these things really matter; you could reject all of them and I wouldn’t care. Society’s rules don’t have to be your rules, as long as you are happy and comfortable with your choices, that’s all that matters.
This is how I would want my children perceived.
